Corpse Crunchies: Trout Heads

These are freeze-dried raw trout heads for dogs. Individually sold because moderation is important when purchasing aquatic nightmare fuel.

What you’re buying:
One severed trout head.
Includes eyeballs, teeth, skin, gills, tongue, skull, and whatever lingering fish thoughts remained at the time of freeze-drying.

Who’s it for:

• Dogs who prefer to start with the face
• Cats with deeply suspicious energy
• That one raccoon outside who already knows too much

Why it matters:
Loaded with Omega fatty acids and other genuinely beneficial nutrients your vet would probably approve of, assuming you don’t make prolonged eye contact while handing it over. There are also people who claim eating fish brains makes dogs smarter. We are not legally, spiritually, or scientifically prepared to confirm that.

Best used when:

• You’ve accepted that your home now smells faintly of a dockside crime scene
• You want visitors to stop opening random containers in your freezer
• Grandma’s coming over, and she needs to understand the kind of household this is now